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Racial Jokes

We are not racist again.

One time, there was a black family of four. They heard about this river, and if you swim tho the other side of it, you turn white. So the Dad swims across and turns white, then the Mom, then the sister. When the youngest child, the brother starts to swim across, he is taken away by the current. The sister says, "DADDY' DADDY!, BUBBA IS GETTING TAKEN AWAY BY THE CURRENT!" And the Dad said, "Screw that nigger."
 
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The barkeeper says, "Hey, that's pretty cool, wher'd ya get it?" And the parrot says, "AFRICA!"
 
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving?
THE COP!
 
What do you call 1/4 of the black population on the moon?
problem
what do you call 1/2 of the black population on the moon?
problem
what do you call 3/4 of the black population on the moon?
problem
what do you call all of the blacks on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!
 
Why do black people only have nightmares?
CUZ WE SHOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A DREAM!
 
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
 
Why do Mexicans have tamales on Christmas Eve?
SO THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO UNWRAP IN THE MORNING!
 
How do you find the population of Mexico?
roll a penny down the street
How do you find the richest person in Mexico?
SEE WHO GOT THE PENNY!
 
Why don't Mexicans have bbq's?
THE BEANS ALWAYS FALL THROUGH THE GRILL!
 
One day, a white, Mexican and a black go to hell. The devil says, "If you can out your dick in my hand, and it doesn't melt, I'll let you go." so the white guy put it in his hand, and it melted. The Mexican goes next. His melts too, but slower.
Then, the black guy goes, and it doesn't melt, and the devil says, "WHAT THE HELL?!?! WHY DIDN'T IT MELT?!?!?" and the black guy says, "Chocolate melts in your mouth, not your hand!"
 
What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road?
THERE'S SKIDMARKS IN FRONT OF THE DOG!
 
Why doesn't Mexico ever win the olympics?
EVERYBODY THAT CAN RUN JUMO AND SWIM HAS ALREADY CROSSED THE BORDER!
 
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man?
 
What do you call a bunch of black men burried to their neks side by side?
AFROTURF!
 
What do you call 4 Mexicans swimming across the ocean?
QUATTRO SINKO!
 
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

A truck driver is driving through a little town in Georgia wit a truck load of bowling balls. In this town there is 2 state troupers who hate truck drivers with a passion. The truck driver sees the two and turns off at the next exit. He sees a little black boy on a bike hitch hicking he picks up the little boy but tells him, "you cant ride up here but you can ride in the back. So he put's the little black boy and his bike in the back and get's back on the interstate. the two state cops see him again and pull him over they start giving him hell just looking for something to write him up for. They can't find anything so they are about to let him go then one says to the other, "We forgot to check the back." So one goes to the back opens the doors, slams them back comes up to the truck driver. The cop is whiter than a ghost and scared as hell, and says "Get the hell out of my town, get the hell out of my county, get the hell out of my state and don't ever come back." So the truck driver leaves. when they get back into the car one looks at the other and says "what the hell did you see back there?" the other says, "That guy was carring a truck load of black babys and one had already hatched and stolen a bike".

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'

A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."
The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"
The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."

Q: Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first?
A: Who cares?

Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big?
A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.

Q: How can you tell a black person is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: Why are there more black folk then Indians?
A: Because we haven't played Cowboys and Black folk yet!

Q: Why are black ladies pocket books so big?
A: They have to put their lipstick some where.

Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa?
A: A good start.

Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

Q: What's long and hard on a blackman?
A: The first grade.

Q: What do you call vietnamese guy that wants to be black?
A: Vinegar!

Q: What does NAACP stand for?
A: National Association of Apes Called People

Q: What do you call a black guy with a fan?
A: Antique air conditioner

Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.

Q: What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck?
A: A good days hunting.

Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics?
A: To keep the flies off the chicken

Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR

Q: Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones?
A: Because they were still monkeys.

Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs?
A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.

Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Rasin Brand.

Q: What do you call a group of black people.
A: An auction

Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?
A: KFC isnt open on holidays.

Q: What would martin luther king be if he was white?
A: Alive

Q: What are three things you can't give a black person?
A: A black eye, a fat lip and a job.

Q: Why do black people lean to the center of their car?
A: They think the smell is coming from the outside.

Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers used to buy us.

Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.

Q: What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working black man?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted

Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.

Q: How do you hide something from a Black Man?
A: Put it in a book.

Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
A: You swerve around the pothole.

Q: Why was the black baby crying?
A: He had diarea and thought he was melting

Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp

Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The lights out, how can u count them?

Q: Why Do Blacks Hate Country?
A: Every time they here Ho-Down They think someone shot their sister

Q: Why don't black people like asprin?
A: They're sick of picking through cotton

Q: Why cant stevie wonder read?
A: Cuz hes black

Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles?
A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers

Q: What is it called when a black women is in labour?
A: Constipation

Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white?
A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position.

Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk

Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy?
A: The park bench can support a family

Q: What does pontiac stand for?
A: Poor old nigger thinks its a cadillac.

Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.

Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.

Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: 9 months.

Q: Why are blacks afried of lawnmovers?
A: Beacuse it gose run nigger nigger run nigger nigger

Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
A: Black Family Inside

Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the jetsons?
A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn't it? 

Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant 

Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
A: Cocoa puffs

 Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths

 You're so black you blead coffee.

You're so black you could leave a hand print in charcoal.

You're so black you went to night school and the teacher counted you absent.

There is this black kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the black kids. So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. Hey dad look im white! His dad kicks his ass, and says alright go show your mother. Hey mom look im white! His mom beats the shit out of him then says go show your gradma. Hey gradma look im white she beats his ass and sends him to his room. About an hour later all the family comes to his room and says have you learned anything from this? The kid says yeah ive learned i have only been white for an hour and I already hate 3 niggers.





 


I would like to thank my newly wedded cousin Michael for tellng me half of the jokes that I know